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August 5, 2010

Oooh, Baby! with Kris Starr

Thursday Thirteen

Greetings, all! Kris Starr here. I write erotic romance and erotica, and I am so very happy to be hanging out today at Shelley’s blog – thanks, Shelley, for the opportunity!

Lovely by Kris StarrI am also thrilled to be a Carina Press author along with Shelley and a bunch of other absolutely fabulous folks. There are some great books available from CP, so if you haven’t checked ‘em out yet, do so! My novella is called Lovely, and it’s an erotic historical set in Paris in 1900.

But I’ll get to that shortly.

Lovely launched on June 21st, and as some of you may know, I got the best launch-day gift ever. On June 22nd, I gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl. So needless to say I am slightly brain-dead as a result, and I hope you can forgive me if this blog post meanders into the realm of “WTF is she talking about??”

Shelley suggested a baby-related TT, and I figured, that’s a great idea, and hey, how hard can it be to come up with thirteen baby items?

Um, remember that brain-dead comment from earlier?


But I did plug along, so without further ado, here’s your Thursday Thirteen!

1. Your brain somehow atrophies with the birth of your child. Or disintegrates. Or completely vanishes. Or, or…something. Whatever it is, I forget.

2. Time becomes like something out of an episode of Star Trek – before baby arrives you’ve got more of the damned stuff than you know what to do with. You read books! Spend time on your hobbies! Linger over lunches with friends! After baby arrives you can barely squeeze in five minutes for yourself to have a shower, toss in a (neverending) load of laundry or unload the dishwasher – and which activity you choose can be determined by whether you have any underwear left, just how gross your hair has become, or if there are any plates in the cupboard.

3. You no longer have anxiety dreams about appearing naked in your high school chemistry class, late for your final exam – you now dream about forgetting/losing/dropping the baby.

4. Five straight hours of unbroken sleep is the most decadent, delightful thing on the face of the planet.

5. You can no longer go anywhere without fifteen minutes of prep time before you go out the door, and you now must lug seventy-three extra things with you. Every single time. Because if you don’t have extra diapers, wipes, burp cloths and clothing with you, you’re screwed.

6. It’s only when you’ve got the baby bundled up in a wrap/carrier that she spits up all over herself…and you.

7. Along the same vein as #6 — all known infant bodily fluids (drool, poop, pee and spitup) now become a part of your regular, everyday life and you are guaranteed to get at least one of them (more likely two or three) on you on a daily basis.

8. And along the same vein as #6 and #7 — you thank whatever higher power/spiritual being you believe in that you have access to a washer and dryer and are not required to scrub baby clothing and other items on rocks in the riverbed.

9. Just as you sit down to dinner, the baby begins to fuss. You forget just what hot food and/or eating with the rest of your family feels like.

10. Forget makeup, hairstyling and dressy clothes. Now it’s sweats and tees, ponytails or headbands and that “natural” look. For all occasions.

11. A receiving blanket or burp cloth becomes a fashion statement that goes with anything. Trust me. Bunnies, daisies and hearts are hot this season.

12. Sex? What’s that?

But most importantly…

13. There is nothing more beautiful or precious on this planet than the sweet, tiny angel asleep in your arms, and you realize every time you look at her just how lucky and blessed you really are.

And that none of the other stuff matters in the least.

Now, to Lovely…

As mentioned earlier, Lovely is set in Paris in 1900, and it’s the story of a prostitute named Angelique. Here’s the blurb:

They call me Lovely. But I know I am not.

Once I had another name. Now, as Angelique, I do what I can to please les messieurs. What would they say if they knew I felt no pleasure? To them I am wanton, insatiable. I alone know the truth.

So I am mystified by my reaction to my latest caller. Alexandre. Handsome. Well-bred. With an air of innocence that intrigues me. And true pain in his eyes. A mere kiss on the hand inflames me as never before. In moments this man disconcerts me like no other, and soon I can think of nothing, no one else. And yet, he barely touches me.

I know my true purpose is to mend his wounds, but I wonder what lustful appetites are buried deep within him. I will do what I can to discover his secrets…

Lovely is available now from Carina Press.

Well, the baby is starting to fuss in her cradle, so that means it’s time for me to wrap up. Thanks again to Shelley for having me, and I hope you’ll swing by my blog or shoot me an email and say hello or let me know what you thought of Lovely! You can also follow me on Twitter (I don’t Tweet much yet – I’m still trying to get the hang of it in general. That brain thing, y’know?).


Kris’ Bio:
Kris lives in the wilds of Northern Canada with her two daughters and science geek husband. She spends her time attempting to control household chaos, indulging her crafty side with various knitting, sewing and miscellaneous handmade projects, and creating stories for Carina Press and Ellora’s Cave. Kris has been writing since the age of ten, beginning with a Nancy Drew-style mystery story featuring herself and a couple of her friends. Future leanings became clear, however, when she started penning naughty stories for high-school friends, featuring Scott Baio, Rick Springfield or any member of Duran Duran.

Kris’ blog
Twitter ID
Kris’ email

CONTEST: Everyone who comments on Kris’s post will go into a draw to win a download of Lovely. Tell us about your baby memories, comment on Kris’s baby thirteen or about her new release, Lovely


  1. Anthony North

    Great take on babies. Enjoyed that.

  2. colleen

    Erotica and babies? Is Kris Star you pen name?

  3. Stephanie Bennett

    My ‘babies’ are 13 and 9 now, and I sure do miss those days sometimes. Wonderful post. Happy Thursday!

  4. Kris Starr

    @Anthony — thank you! :)

    @Colleen — yes, ‘Kris Starr’ is my pen name. And yes, I have a six-week-old, as well as an eight-year-old!

    @Stephanie — thanks! And you’re right — despite the exhaustion and messes and all of that fun stuff, we wouldn’t change a thing, would we?

    I will pop in again later, but I’m afraid I must dash off now to my final midwife appointment and run a couple of errands (real life doesn’t stop, does it?!?). See you all later!


  5. Darla

    What a fabulous year for you! Congratulations and best wishes!

  6. Pamela

    What a great list! Loved #8 – yes, thank you, thank you, thank you!

  7. Alice Audrey

    Except for the sex part, you really take me back to when my kids were born. Ah, those were the wonderful brain-dead days.

  8. Robin L. Rotham

    Boy, did that ever bring back some memories, LOL! Makes me truly appreciate my teens and tweens.

    Congratulations on the release — it sounds wonderful!

  9. Catherine Bybee

    My oldest is registering for High School in an hour. :cry: I soooo remember those days.

  10. Elise Logan

    Oh, yeah. what is this “sleep” of which you speak? Munchkin isn’t much for sleep. So even now – she’s SIX – I’m lucky to get 6 hours of sleep. Kid’s up at the crack of dawn.

  11. Toni Anderson

    LOL. Motherhood–aint it grand!!

  12. Caridad Pineiro

    Loved your list! My baby is long gone, but I still remember those days. :cool:

  13. Kris Starr

    Thanks, Darla, Pamela and Robin!

    Catherine — I can’t imagine what it’ll be like to send my girls off to high school! It seems so far away, but I know the time will feel like it’s flown by. :cry:

    Elise — I feel your pain. My eight-year-old is not a sleeper, either. She’s usually up somewhere between 6-6:30. And it doesn’t make any difference what time she goes to bed, either. Thankfully, now, she’s able to get herself some cereal and watch TV or play her DS and she lets me sleep. Up to a couple of years ago, she’d insist I get up with her! :eek:

    Toni — there’s nothing like it!

    Thanks, Caridad!

  14. ms bookjunkie

    My friends ask me over and hand me the baby so they can get stuff done. :grin:

  15. Tatiana Caldwell

    Ha ha, I tried to convince myself when my boys were babies/toddlers that sex was overrated and sleep was for the weak, to make myself feel better about not getting any.

    That only works for a little while, though.

    Oh, and my “baby” will turn 3 in 3 weeks, and I’m still rocking ponytails and tees like it’s the latest look. But hey – I’m still soooo sexah! :mrgreen:

  16. Kathy Ivan


    Again congratulations on the new baby and the new release.

    Lovely sounds wonderful–will have to load to my Sony–as soon as I can take a break long enough. That’s the kind of read I don’t want to have to put down once I started it.

    Cute Thursday 13, too, by the way.

  17. Shelley Munro

    Welcome, Kris! I have to admit that your list made me grin. I don’t have children, so I haven’t experienced any of this. :lol:

  18. Maria D.

    First- Congratulations on both your baby and the release of “Lovely” .

    Your Thursday 13 post is very amusing – but I’m sure that’s only because I’m single and have no kids and have watched my sisters go through this with their babies – the oldest of which is now 19. Enjoy these years they go so fast. :grin:

  19. Fedora

    Congrats, Kris! There’s nothing like cuddling a new baby, but on the other hand, I love my sleep. That’s kept me from begging my husband to work on expanding our family ;) Congrats on Lovely, and best wishes to you and your family! May it all be blissfully nap-filled time you enjoy!

  20. Janni Nell

    Hi Kris

    “Lovely” was among the first books I downloaded. Beautifully written – gorgeous haunting prose.

  21. Janice Seagraves

    Oh, I remember those day. I would kill just to get five minutes alone in the bathroom. My mom suddenly became my best friend because she would come over and coo over the baby so I could get something done.

    Good luck with the new book and congrats on your beautiful baby. :)


  22. Susanna Fraser

    My “baby” is six, and I still wonder if I’ll ever get my old sharp brain back!

  23. Heather

    No kids here, but I did find your list amusing. Congratulations, Kris!

  24. lorettaC

    There is nothing like a baby to make your life better. Enjoy them now because they are gone to soon.



  25. Hazel

    I thought and thought of # 1. I was in the middle of gradschool when I gave birth to my boy….

    Erotic historial – that sounds like something I want to read this weekend… me and co-old maids are off to an island getaway :)

  26. Jill Conyers

    Great list and even better because it’s all so true :)

  27. april s.

    sorry not many baby memories (I think I’ve repressed them thank god) :razz:

  28. Shelley Munro


    And the winner is…MsBookJunkie

    Congratulations! I’ve emailed you privately.

    Thanks to everyone else who visited. You are entered in the draw for a $25 Amazon voucher. The winner for this will be drawn at the beginning of October.

  29. ms bookjunkie

    Yay, thanks! :grin: :grin: :grin:

  30. Kris Starr

    So sorry, folks! Two days of major headache pain (thanks to really unsettled weather) and the daily dross of life kept me away.

    Congrats to Ms Bookjunkie for winning the copy of Lovely!

    Tatiana — I hear you! I have one other confession: I wore Crocs through the last trimester of the pregnancy because they were the only thing that fit and were comfy. Truth is, I still wear them all the time! :eek:

    Ack! She’s fussing again. I will return! I promise!


  1. irrelevant (and sometimes questionable) ramblings » Blog Archive » Guest Blogging - [...] talking babies over on Shelley Munro’s blog. Come by and say hi! You could win a PDF copy of…

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