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November 20, 2008

Friends and Friendship

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Sayings about FRIENDS AND FRIENDSHIP

The theme of my current WIP is friends and friendship. I thought I’d give you friend sayings today. I also have a research-type question for you at the end and would really like your input.

1. A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling. ~Arthur Brisbane, “The Book of Today”

2. Being friendless taught me how to be a friend. Funny how that works. ~Colleen Wainwright, Communicatrix.

3. Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation. ~ George Washington (1732 – 1799)

4. When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. ~ Japanese Proverb

5. If you make it plain you like people, it’s hard for them to resist liking you back. ~ Lois McMaster Bujold, Diplomatic Immunity, 2002.

6. It’s the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter. ~ Marlene Dietrich (1901 – 1992)

7. Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love. ~ Jane Austen (1775 – 1817), Northanger Abbey.

8. You don’t get to pick your own nickname. They’ve gotta give you one. It’s like we’re all tryin’ to make pets out of each other and we’re not comfortable unless we get to name ‘em. ~ Laura Moncur, Merriton.

9. It’s a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of. ~ Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 08-16-05

10. There was a definite process by which one made people into friends, and it involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time. ~ Rebecca West (1892 – 1983)

11. If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair. ~ Samuel Johnson (1709 – 1784)

12. I’ve learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. If you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anything else in the world. ~ Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Prehistoric Ice Man, 1999.

13. The friendship that can cease has never been real. ~ Saint Jerome (374 AD – 419 AD), Letter.

QUESTION: What qualities do you look for in a friend? What heinous crime does a friend have to commit to get booted off your friend list?

I look for a sense of humor, trust and the ability to listen when I really need them to listen. I value give and take, honesty. Anyone who is dishonest won’t find themselves with my friendship for long. I need to be able to trust a friend with my secrets and rely on them to follow through on any promises they make.

What about you?

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  1. Rims

    Nice List!!

    For me I too look Trust – that eventually takes care of every thing. Secondly, I look whether they are judgemental of you or not…a true friend would not be judgemental of you and anytime and everytime you can trust the friend to listen to you and tell him / her.

    Happy TT!

  2. Stephanie Adkins

    I love those. Especially #13. :) Happy Thursday! *hugs*

  3. J.K. Coi

    There are some friends that I chat with weekly about everything from our kids to our husbands to our job and all the other stuff in between. There are few boundaries and no judgments. we just listen to each other and offer support if we can.

    But I don’t have to see my friends every day, or even talk to them every day. There are some that I don’t get a chance to chat with for months at a time. But when we do get together I like that there’s only joy between us as we get caught up. We understand that the everyday lives can get crazy busy and don’t hold it against the other.

  4. Nina Pierce

    OMG! I love number 8 about the nicknames. It is so true!

    Like so many mentioned … I live really far away from my dearest friends and life gets in the way. But when we finally do connect, we start we dropped off. That’s the best kind of friend.

    If friendships are negative or too much work. They’re just not worth it.

  5. LA Day

    Great list.
    I have lots of associates but only a couple of true friends and we’ve been friends forever. I believe only death will part us and then only temporarily.

  6. Alice Audrey

    All someone has to do to get booted off my friend list is consistently and repeatedly leave me with the feeling they are not really my friend.

  7. Jennifer McKenzie

    I love the Japanese proverb. I’ve been very lucky in my friendships.
    I have one that I wouldn’t trade for anything. And keeping in “constant repair” has kept it going for thirteen years.

  8. Adelle Laudan

    I’ve known my best friend for 30 years. No matter what was going on, where we lived, we always stayed in touch. I think what kept us together was honesty, and loyalty through thick and thin.
    A deal breaker would be if a friend did something to hurt one of my kids.
    Happy T13~

  9. Shelley Munro

    Rims – judgemental. That’s a good one because there’nothing worse than hanging around with a person who comments and judges negatively on everything you do.

    Stephanie – there were so many good friend quotations. It was hard to choose.

  10. Shelley Munro

    JK – it’s nice to have friends like that. Clingy is a bad thing in a friend because everyone needs time out.

    Nina – that is really nice that you can pick up where you left off.

  11. Shelley Munro

    LA – good friends are wonderful. :grin:

    Jen – I liked the Japanese proverb. It’s so true.

    Adelle – honesty and loyalty are important to me. I hate lies.

  12. Heather

    Great quotes, Shelley!

    I think you hit the friendship qualities perfectly. Someone who is supportive (whether they agree/approve of your decisions or not), who is there in good times and bad, is important. Nothing worse than overly critical or “fair weather friends.”

  13. Inez Kelley

    Good stuff. Friends are hard to keep at times.

  14. Savannah Chase

    aww these are so fab..love them

  15. R.J. Lebeau

    Honesty is something I look for in a friend.

    Someone who breaks my trust is excommunicated from my friends list.

  16. Janice

    A true friend is honest and sympathetic.

    I can’t tolerate someone who tells me “I don’t know about that!”

    Happy TT.


  17. julia

    Your first quote is the most important one for me:
    ‘A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute.’

    Because I spend a lot of my time listening to others, being supportive and handing out requested advice (I’m like ‘Peanuts’ Lucy – ‘the doctor is in’) – when a friend can take one look at me and know what I’m feeling, I treasure that moment. It’s almost like I don’t have to explain a thing, even though it’s my turn to talk and feel listened to. Plus, I value real acceptance between friends.

    Wonderful TT, Shelley!

  18. Susan Helene Gottfried

    So are these quotes supposed to give us any hints as to where the book is heading?

    They are good ones, regardless. Especially the one about being able to call at 4AM.

  19. Paz

    Wonderful list, as usual!