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December 4, 2008

Flirting: Fun Human Interaction

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about FLIRTING

1. Flirting – according to Wikipedia flirting is a form of human interaction between two people, expressing a romantic and/or sexual interest. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.

2. Flirting is used as a means of expressing interest or gauging the other person’s interest in courtship or even casual sex.

3. People who flirt speak or act in a way suggesting greater intimacy than is considered appropriate to the relationship (or to the amount of time the two people have known each other), without actually saying or doing anything that breaches any serious social norms. They accomplish this by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used.

4. Flirting consists of stylized gestures, language, body language, postures, and physiologic signs. They include eye contact, batting eyelashes, wink etc, signals such as touching one’s hair, casual touches; such as a woman gently touching a man’s arm during conversation, smiling, sending notes or poems or small gifts, flattery, teasing or coyness, affectedly shy or modest, marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness.

5. Different countries have different rules when it comes to flirting. Take care because it’s a minefield out there. Flirting is governed by a complex set of unwritten laws of etiquette. These rules dictate where, when, with whom and in what manner we flirt. We generally obey these unofficial laws instinctively, without being conscious of doing so.

6. Flirting is fun and a basic part of human nature.

7. Parties, pubs, bars and schools are all places we flirt as is the workplace and places associated with sports.

8. Research has shown men have a tendency to mistake friendly behaviour for sexual flirting. This is not because they are stupid or deluded, but because they tend to see the world in more sexual terms than women.

9. There is evidence to suggest that women are naturally more socially skilled than men, better at interpreting people’s behaviour and responding appropriately. Scientists have claimed women have a special ‘diplomacy gene’ which men lack. So men, take that!

10. Most people – usually men – focus on the verbal element: the ‘chatting-up’, the problems of knowing what to say, finding the right words, etc. The non-verbal element – body-language, tone of voice, etc. – is much more important, particularly in the initial stages of a flirtation.

11. When you first meet new people, their initial impression of you will be based 55% on your appearance and body-language, 38% on your style of speaking and only 7% on what you actually say.

12. I checked out some of the lines people use. It’s a wonder you didn’t hear me groaning from your place. Some are really bad! Evidently the following are some of the most effective…

1. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
2. Do you know why the sky is so gray? [No, why?] Because all the blue is in your eyes.
3. Don’t stop! I don’t usually get to see beauty in motion.
4. I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
5. Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are HOT!
6. Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.
7. Mind if I talk to you until it’s safe down there where I farted?
8. My friend wants to know if you were born in those jeans.
9. When God said, “Let there be women,” he created you.
10. You’re so fine, you make me want to go out and get a job.

13. And here’s some links to some flirting quizzes. What Kind of Flirty Girl Are You?
Are You a Flirtacious Woman? and What is Your Seduction Style?

Are you a flirt? What’s your best flirting tip? Best flirting line? Best place to flirt?

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  1. MsMenozzi

    In some ways, I guess I am a flirt. It would be hard for me *not* to be, as I grew up with a mother who made men fall all over themselves (she’s a sort of Southern Belle, and flirty as all get-out).

    My best flirting tip? Smile. Most men can’t resist a smile, especially if they know it’s meant for them alone.

    I don’t have a particular flirting line. I just use my Southern accent, if necessary. (You’d be amazed how often that can work on a Brit or an Italian, btw).

    The best place to flirt? Well, if you only want flirting and nothing more, work is a good place for it. I know I’m flirty with my students (the men, that is) all the time. The hubby doesn’t mind, and he knows that’s one reason they open up in the conversation lessons, etc.

    Then again, everyone flirts in Italy. The whole place is filled with folks interacting with a slightly sexy edge.

    For that, I enjoy it here. LOL! :)

    It was a great topic, today!
    Happy TT!

  2. Stephanie Adkins

    Heehee … great list, Shelley. I love flirting. :wink: Happy Thursday! *HUGS*

  3. Paz

    Great 13 list. LOL! Those lines!

    Paz :wink:

  4. Alice Audrey

    Double entendres? OH. I was flirting with my male friends in high school and didn’t know it. Just as well, they didn’t know it either.

  5. Adelle Laudan

    LOL I’m groaning at those lines too! LOL
    Fun list. Happy t13!

  6. Jennifer McKenzie

    I don’t do this much anymore but I was an OUTRAGEOUS flirt in my twenties.
    Bad Jen.
    I’m not even taking those quizzes lest the Flirty Girl rears her ugly head.
    Then the Redneck might have to spank me.
    Oh wait……

  7. Jennifer Shirk

    I am so not a flirt. BUT I do like to be flirted with. LOL!

  8. Debora Dennis

    I without a doubt have to agree with #8 – men see EVERYTHING in sexual terms. (Even after 22 years of marriage the man still makes smart-ass remarks laced with sexual inuendos!)

    Got love ’em!

  9. Leah Braemel

    What gets me is that guys think those lines work! Especially #4 and #7. :lol:

    Do you think that with women asking men out more these days we’re using such lame lines?

  10. Susan Helene Gottfried

    I guess I’m weird. No one’s ever tried to use those bad pick-up lines on me. Maybe I’m not flirting material.

    But I AM in the new blog home! Stop by and check it out (half-finished as it may be).

  11. Heather

    Those were some really bad pickup lines. Great topic, as always! :smile:

  12. Shelley Munro

    Ms Menozzi – I have to agree. A smile is an excellent weapon to have in one’s flirting arsenal. My favorite!

    I’m glad everyone agrees about those lines. Blah! Although the first one made me laugh.

  13. Barbara Martin

    I never considered myself a flirt, but I must have done it at one time or another. A smile will certainly ease the man, and paying attention to what he has to say.

    The best line I heard was from a friend who was trying to avoid the attentions of a man, who was trying to be charming. He said, “You don’t have to be afraid of me, I’m a police officer.”
    She said, “I’m not afraid of you, I don’t know if you’ve had all your shots.”

  14. Shelley Munro

    LOL – Barbara – I admire a woman with a quick comeback. I usually stammer and stutter and think up something smart to say four hours later.

  15. Karin

    Those lines are horrid. I can’t believe those are considered the best, especially the one which mentions farting. :eek:

    I’ve never been a flirt in general, but I have been known to playfully employ double entendres.

  16. R.J. Lebeau

    I must confess I’ve never used any of those pickup lines on women. Actually, I don’t have any lines. Conversation usually works best for me, especially when I flirt. And smiling, too. ;-)

    Happy T13.

  17. Gabriele

    Diplomacy gene? I must totally have missed that one, because I’m the most undiplomatic woman on this planet.

    Not much of a flirt, either. I did it sometimes when I was younger but now it’s a waste of time. I’d rather go home and read – or write – a book. :smile:

  18. Julie Robinson

    I checked out your site and watched the Whale Song Video. OMG, that was so beautiful. To see that huge creature so gracefully enjoying the sunshine was truly awe-inspiring. I still have goose bumps. Thank you.

    And thank you Shelley for having Barbara today.

    I’m going to have to watch that UTube pic again before bed. It just fills my head with beautiful thoughts.

  19. Shelley Munro

    Karin – I’m with you! Hubby thought the farting one was funny, but then he would! :mrgreen:

    RJ – I’m glad to hear you don’t use any of those lines. Conversation sounds great, especially if it’s ordinary and laced with a smile.

    Gabriele – what? no flirting at all? Still, the book sounds good.

    Julie – I enjoyed Barbara’s post on whales, too.

  20. Julie Robinson

    I’m a “Friendly Flirt” according to the test. And it’s true. My husband thinks I’m a flirt, but then he can be a bit possessive :-) Or it could be that the first time he tried to talk to me, I cut him down. I can be pretty sarcastic.

    However, I like to talk to people. Unfortunately, some men think that because a woman smiles at them or holds their eyes in a conversation (just being direct), or strike up a conversation, then they think it’s a come on. Or if you throw a sexual innuendo right back at them . .. Oh well, I figure it’s their own vanity problem.


  21. Julie Robinson

    This was fun. I took another test you had posted, which I didn’t see before and it said my Seduction Style was The Charmer.

    These tests aren’t always accurate, but I must say, these two were right on target.

  22. Dani

    I have always been a flirt. I don’t do it on purpose usually because it always seems to come naturally with me. It seems like if I try to knowingly flirt I look stupid. If I’m not trying I get it right.

    I took one of the flirt quizes and found out that I’m a friendly flirt. It seems to fit me dead on too. LOL!