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January 28, 2009

Penises in Paranormals

Okay. I’m totally borrowing/stealing this topic from Nicola O.

Nicola mentions in her post that penises in some paranormals are different from the norm. I’ve run across this phenomenon before. Most notable are Lora Leigh’s Breed books where barbs and knots appear during the sexual act, locking the hero and heroine together for long minutes. I remember reading this for the first time and thinking, well. That’s interesting. I’m glad it’s not me. Since this happens in nature I can accept it in a book, but it does make me squirm and not in a good way.

I remember reading ebooks written by Brenna Lyons (Kegin series) where a similar thing occured. In Brenna’s books, the heroines were a little astonished. Yep, that would be me as well.

I’ve also read a couple of sci-fi romances where the hero has two penises. For the life of me I can’t think of the title or author, but I remember that I had to read the paragraph twice. It could have been an EC book. The title will come to me, if I think about it for long enough.

Recently I’ve been reading some of Shannon McKenna’s romantic suspenses. I really enjoy Shannon’s books, but I’ve noticed that her heroes are all very well endowed and that they’re good with foreplay. They have to be because of their size. She also mentions the term “girl juice” several times, which just cracks me up.

In a more recent post Nicola also mentioned that her blog stats went crazy after her paranormal penises post, so I just had to experiment you understand and try my own penis post.

Now in my own writing I keep the size vague. I don’t go into great detail about length but I might mention appearance. My feline shapeshifters don’t have this mysterious barb, although the more I think about it, the more I want to introduce one. :grin: Watch this space.

Writers – I know most of my writer visitors write erotic romance so what do you do with the size and appearance thing?
Readers – what is your opinion of the barbs and knots and extra dangly bits? Do they make you go eek or do they just make you giggle? Do you skip those paragraphs?


  1. Leah Braemel

    Michelle Bardsley has a dragon with two penises, but I can’t for the life of me remember what the name of the book is right now.

    When I was doing research for one of my paranormals, I discovered that dolphins have prehensile penises that can turn and stroke etc. like a finger. I played with that idea for a while but figured it was just a little too squicky.

    I rather liked Lora Leigh’s idea because the characters did have the canine and feline DNA so I could see that happening. And because it was so different from anything I’d seen I quite enjoyed using my imagination (okay, I may be sick)

    And there was a post on a blog I read a while back about how JR Ward’s Vishous supposedly has a barb? They were wondering if it was a primale thing because JR had never mentioned it with any of her other vamps. (Again, early morning, cannot remember the blogger unfortunately.)

  2. Christina Phillips

    Two penises? Wow. I’m trying to imagine how that works!!!

    I don’t go into great detail but yeah, my heroes are well endowed :grin:

    I’ll have to try a blog post about penises and see what happens to my stats!!!

  3. Leah Braemel

    Oh, I should mention, I did a Thursday 13 a while back on Animal Mating Habits

    Can’t say it increased my stats, but then it WAS last year before I had a contract or anything.

  4. Amy Ruttan

    The two penises would be Robin L. Rotham’s Alien Overnight, by EC.

  5. E. S.

    I actually enjoy Lora’s books because of the aspects of DNA mentioned in an earlier post. It’s just makes the book a little closer to reality for me. :-)

    There are a couple of two penis books that have been released via Changeling Press. One kind of made me go ewww because the purpose of the second penis was for waste elimination, which I could have done without knowing. I’m sure you all can imagine what I was imagining. Ick. Despite the initial ick factor, it was a pretty good book. Just had to put the hero’s explanation of why he had two out of my mind when the sexual acts were taking place. LOL

    I do find myself giggling from time-to-time over how the heroine reacts to the hero having two penises. I’d probably react the same way. :D

  6. Denise Rossetti

    I have to say, Shelley, this post definitely got my attention! So here I am, unable to resist, and increasing your blog stats.

    Morgan Hawke has doubly endowed heroes in her Victorious Star and Fallen Star. I love her stuff, but it still made my eyes water. Especially in a menage situation, when the heroine is coping with four of them! Yowsa!

    In Laura Baumbach’s Details of the Hunt. the alien hero’s penis is described in loving detail (maybe that’s how the book got its title?). It has all sorts of nifty bits, from wiggly tentacles to an umbrella type head, and can do a whole lot of mindboggling things. I was suitably boggled anyhow. :roll:

    I do think a writer has to be careful. I can never forget the 18th century for the male genitalia – “trouble giblets”. :mrgreen:

    No one wants a hero to have a weeny one, but there are definitely limits before the poor reader feels chafed .

    My kinkiest one belonged to a fairy king, Obernunda, in The Amorous Adventures of Alice which is a free story available on my website. It was long and pierced and moved like it had a mind of its own. OTOH, Obernunda was blue and silver, with wings. LOL

  7. Denise Rossetti

    Duh! I meant to say 18th century slang. Still makes me laugh though! “trouble giblets” *snork*

  8. Kaye Manro

    Well, well penises– good topic. It can be interesting to come up with creative penises. I agree that sometimes certain ones can make you go eek! But finding the erotic connection is what we should try to do. I admit I’ve written an an alien hero who has a different kind of penis. (not two, just one) So I can understand trying for different with penises… and on that note that’s all I can say.

  9. Gabriele

    I haven’t read about weird penises yet, but already the size description sometimes makes me wonder if that would not hurt in real life.

  10. Rhonda Barnes

    :eek: Of course the men are well-endowed…After all, who wants a hero who is just average size? LOL! And TWO penises?! I don’t even want to think about how that works!

    Rhonda :grin:

  11. Jory Strong

    I’m all for a hero with a unique penis, as long as it works for the story. As far as my own writing goes, I usually note he’s well endowned without bringing out the ruler. I also usually don’t specify circumcised or not circumcised, leaving it to the reader to fill in that part depending on their preferences.

  12. Nicola O.

    Well, you already know where I stand, LOL.

    Leah, JR Ward’s barbed hero is a symphath, (Rehvenge), which is apparently a different species from the vampire. Rehv is a vamp/symphath half-breed. We don’t know a whole lot about his dangly bits just yet but can expect more details in Lover Avenged, due 4/28.

    As for the double-dicked hero, :eek: . I don’t read a lot of way-out space opera romance, or tons of EC (some, but it’s not “my” primary genre) so I haven’t run into any of these yet.

  13. Cheryl McInnis

    As a reader, if I’m reading a sci-fi futuristic or paranormal story than I’m pretty much open to anything :lol: As long as the uh…extra ordinary penis fits into the story without being too ridiculous, I can go with the flow. However, if I was reading a lovely romantic comedy or contemporary and all of a sudden encountered a hero with a second penis, that would probably make me cringe. Thanks for the great topic Shelley, it’s fun to think about penis’ this early in the morning! LOL

  14. Amy Ruttan

    Alien Overnight, with the two penises, was HOT. I was kind of like “Whoa” at first, but Robin’s writing rocks so much that I totally was into it.

  15. Shelley Munro

    Leah – Nicola’s post mentions JR Ward’s book, and like many others I’m wondering how this can happen so suddenly. If the other vampires are like this then why hasn’t it been mentioned? I like consistency with these things!

    Christina – the stats thing made me laugh. Nicola’s little stat graph went crazy.

  16. Leah Braemel

    Shelley – I found the blog I mentioned — it was Nicola’s own blog, LOL. Anyway, I thought she was talking about Vishous being ‘barbed’, but it wasn’t. It’s Rehvenge who has a barb. Rhev is a sympath … although I thought they were still vamps just had an extra quality to them, especially since his mother and sister are both vampires. So whether the barb is part of the symphath ‘build’ or vampire build, I’m unsure at this point.

  17. Shelley Munro

    Leah – your TT was really interesting. I did feel sorry for the female tortoise underneath that male…

    Amy – I’m going to need to read Alien Overnight again. I don’t remember the duo penises.

    ES – that waste elimination thing would have squicked me right out! :eek:
    I agree that in Lora’s books the entire thing makes sense. I’m willing to accept just about anything the characters say or do as long as it makes sense within the framework of the story and doesn’t come out of left field.

  18. Shelley Munro

    Leah – I’m looking forward to this JR book, although when I think of a barb it’s not exactly with fond thoughts. Barbs sound sharp and um…dangerous.

    Denise – that’s it! It was Morgan’s book that I was thinking of. The character did some very interesting things with his equipment. Now that you mention it, I remember Laura’s book, too. Her aliens were interesting.

  19. Shelley Munro

    Denise – I meant to mention your short story sounds very different. I’m off to check it out.

    Kaye – you’re a tease! I’m curious now. :grin:

    Gabriele – think of all the interesting reading you’re missing out on! :wink: I have to agree about the pain side of it. Big is not necessarily better.

  20. Shelley Munro

    Rhonda – the two penises thing was actually fascinating in a weird kind of way. It made my imagination work overtime.

    Jory – yes, the specific measurements always make me blink. I like to allow the reader to imagination according to their own preferences as well. The trick is to get the right balance.

  21. Shelley Munro

    Nicola – thanks so much for providing the topic. You have the two penis thing to look forward to then. :mrgreen:

    Cheryl LOL – I live to entertain. I agree – if it works within the framework of the story I’m usually okay with whatever the authors says. Usually…

  22. Shelley Munro

    Amy – Alien Overnight was a great read. I’ll have to load it up on my PDA and read it again.

  23. Amy W.

    As a reader I like more vague descriptions of a penis so I can use my imagination like, “He was well endowed with a slight upward curve that I just know will hit the right spot.” Just enough for me to add on to.
    As for the two penis thing I’ve only ever read one and it was on your Free read list last week Shelley. “Stroke It” by Cassandra Curtis. It made me wonder but I think it was ok. I love Lora’s Breed novels and since the barb is just a feline aspect I’m cool with it.
    I did read an interesting one where the lady had two openings up front and one in the back. She was made for two lovers at once, very interesting. “Made for Two Men” by Madison Hayes.

    Okay, enough about sex organs for now, I’m off to make dinner.

  24. Nicola O.

    Shelley– you’re totally welcome! it’s not like posting something penis-related on the internet makes me unique, :lol:

    Not sure I’m exactly looking forward to the dually blessed gentlemen in question, but I may not be able to hold back my curiousity, now, LOL.

    You guys all straight on Vishous vs. Rehv, and symphaths vs. vampires, or you need me to go into more? Cuz I can, heh. Obsessed fangirl, me? well, yeah, kinda…

  25. Nicola O.

    ps, Kaye said: So I can understand trying for different penises…</i

    ROFL — that’s what my 20’s were all about, ladies….

  26. Shelley Munro

    Nicola – Oops, you’re right. I was getting my characters mixed up. I remember Rehv now. The one with the bar – the symphath. Actually the character I’m most curious about is John who recently went through the change. It will be interesting to see what happens with him.

    LOL about penises and the twenties. :wink:

  27. Crystal-Rain Love

    I think two penises would just be way too weird. It’d totally throw me out of the story.

    The knots and barbs thing sounds unpleasant, but I haven’t read any of these books you’ve mentioned, so maybe it’s all in the description.

    When I write love scenes, I don’t really go into description of the penises. I figure readers have seen them before, and can imagine the hero’s penis any way they want to. ( – :

    I blogged about how you can actually break a penis, and saw a little rise (no pun intended) in stats but sadly, not a whole lot of comments from new readers. ) – :

    Speaking of penises in romance novels, it bugs me when an author goes on and on about how big the hero’s penis is and how he can never find a woman who can fully “take him in”, then he finds a virgin who can… and she’s not in any pain… and has an orgasm. That’s one heck of a stretchy virgin.

  28. Alice Audrey

    I’ll bet your stats go nuts. This is a well-thought-out post, btw.

  29. Tonya

    :grin: I’m posting for the first time, Kaye Manro mentioned you on her blog today about the hero’s penis. Something I’ve never really thought about, but now thanks to you and Kaye I have all kinds of crazy thoughts LOL!

    And Crystal I agree with you about the virgin and hero with a big penis. Yes, we want a novel we can read that’s better than our lives, but it has to have some realistic elements to it as well.

  30. Christina Phillips

    LOL. I actually have tears in my eyes now! what a great discussion!! :grin:

  31. Dayanna

    Wow i cannot believe am late for this one. Here goes….
    I LOVE Lora Leigh’s Breed series. Indeed they are different than other shapeshifters because they never actually turn into the animal. So perhaps to make it more like the animal they have inside the barbs were mentioned. I really don’t care what the author mentions as to their endowment or barbs as long as the way it’s delivered is for a reason rather than to add something else there. Two penises? Well that woul certainly have me giggling. If i remember correctly Michelle M. Pillow had a fantasy story whose hero had something like that, but with him being an alien and all i kind of thought it was good to have something odd like that…lol….besides the guy knew how to use both of them to pleasure the heroine in the must delightful ways. So as long as there is a reason for it, i don’t care. The breeds barb i believe was for reproduction reasons and to remind us just how close to the animal the characters were, even if they could not change into the animal itself. If you plan to add it to your story i welcome it, since the boys are animals but i want to see what you will do with that barb….now that should be an interesting read…hehe :blush:

  32. Catherine Bybee

    Apparently I’m a paranormal penis virgin because I’ve yet to read a book about barbed, doubled, winged or pierced.

    But I have a funny story about a real life penis with 8 – Yes that is 8 – piercings right up the shaft. Yes I saw it! Yes I touched it. Anyone curious? LOL

  33. Shelley Munro

    Catherine – ouch. That’s all I can say. Ouch! That must have hurt. Surely?

    Dayanna – I’m considering a new shifter series where I’d incorporate the extra…um…bit. Actually, I’ve been thinking about it for a while and this would work in well. Middlemarch males are fairly normal in this respect and I think my editor would be upset with me for not being consistent. :grin:

  34. Shelley Munro

    Crystal – if it’s a sci-fi or fantasy and the author adds the fact in their worldbuilding it’s not so bad. I usually blink at the first intro but if it works in the story I can accept easily enough.

    Yes, the large part gets to me if the author keeps mentioning the “large” part throughout the book.

  35. Wylie

    Hmm… where do I stand on this debate? Well…
    I still giggle when I write ‘penis’
    *hee hee*

  36. Ashley Ladd

    Barbs and knots??? I guess I’m naive but I’ve never heard of either.

    My heroes are well endowed, mainly because I figured romance readers preferred their heroes that way.

  37. Lynda

    Endowed is great just leave off the numbers and don’t make it overkill. some books have left me thinking *Ouch!*

    As for the double penis. I read Morgan Hawke’s books and really enjoyed them. I do remember trying to figure out the logistics of the menages. Just where are the *extra* parts hanging out?

    I always thought that Rehvenge had a Prince Albert and that was the barb. Was he the one tortured? I may have mixed it up with another book, Ann Jacob’s He Calls Her Jasmine. In that one, the hero was tortured as a child during the crusades. The torture was extreme, hanging him from the ceiling by his penis. The intention was to create the necessity to make him an enuch to save his life, circumventing the Koran. He was barely saved in time. Balls were inserted under the skin of his penis to create sensitivity that may have been lost by the torture.

    I love Lora Leigh’s breed books! Everything feels in context and fits.

  38. Dayanna

    Shelley – New shapeshifters?! Yeah baby *doing the chicken dance*
    I say go ahead with those barbs then!
    Oh and i remember another author who wrote about her shapeshifters having “hair” on their penises…sorry cannot recall the actual name she used for it, but the boys found this extremely arousing and so did their partners. Mind you they were aliens too…hehe

  39. Shelley Munro

    Lynda – exactly. It’s when measurements are introduced that I get pulled out of the story a bit. I mean who goes around measuring anyway? Um…maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that!

    Dayanna – yes, I’ve been thinking about a new series for a while. I have a few projects I need to finish first but hopefully the new series will start this year.

    Hairs? Now that sounds interesting. If you remember the title, pop back and let me know.

  40. Dayanna

    Shelley – The books are m/m and m/m/f by Jade Buchanan, but i still cannot remember what name she used for the hair. I know the animals actually do have those but it’s totally elluding me.

  41. Barbara Martin

    Well, looky here…40 comments all because of a piece of male anatomy.

    I’m not a prude, but publishers publish the darnest things regarding sexual playtime. Since this comment is going to be buried way down below all the others (and not likely seen by my regulars on my blog…heh heh…little do they know) and, Shelley, there have been vivid descriptions here…I would like to clarify something I have read in several erotic romances. Actually, I would like to correct a misconception about a particular act performed during this playtime that has to do with a penis. Thought I wouldn’t say it out loud, did you?

    The misconception I have read is about “milking” a man while mounted on top. No, not possible. Only through oral application; and it hurts the guy while making him impotent for a couple of days. But he’ll remember til his dying day who did that to him.

    The fantasy manuscripts I am working on contain several sections of hot sizzle interludes without over dramatizing the anatomy or the act.

  42. TJ Michaels

    Girl juice? Ewwww, that’s nasty.

    Now back to the topic at hand – penises. As a writer I do tend to go with a bit thicker tool but with a length that is just a bit more than enough. It sounds sexy to have a man with a baseball bat-sized penis but in real life that s&$!t hurts like hell and is not enjoyable. So I tend to write what would be enjoyable FOR REAL into my fiction. On the other hand, a wee-willy-winkie, especially with a man that doesn’t know how to use the bit that he has can be…uh, a challenge. So I tend to write heroes with a bit more junk in the trunk AND is highly skilled.

    As a reader, barbs ‘n stuff don’t really bother me much ’cause it’s such a normal part of nature for felines, though I don’t write them into my African lion or Jaguar shifters.

    In real life, it would freak me the hell out! :razz: