This week I read about a British couple who have recently celebrated eighty years of marriage. I think this is amazing. Their story inspired me to search for ways to make a marriage last through the years.
1. Spend at least 10 minutes a day focused on one another without the distraction of your kids, the TV, the phone etc.
2. Say I love you. My hubby will ring up and tell me just out of the blue. It always makes me feel good.
3. Affirm something your spouse said or did and say something nice.
4. Laugh together.
5. Don’t criticize your spouse.
6. Kiss your spouse in the morning, before leaving the house, when you go to bed, and several other times during the day and evening.
7. Do a few things together, like working in the yard, taking a walk, watching a favorite movie or planning and cooking dinner.
8. Fight fair.
9. Be willing to forgive.
10. Plan and have a date with one another.
11. Don’t try to change your spouse. Note – it doesn’t work! He can’t change me either. :grin:
12. Don’t expect your spouse to be a mind reader and don’t try to be a mind reader.
13. Accept that there will be some small issues that you two will never resolve and that it’s normal in successful marriages.
I’m sure there are heaps of other things I haven’t mentioned. If you have another suggestion, please add it in the comments section.
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And with this, you’ve explained why my hubby and I are so darn happy together (even when we’re fighting like cats and dogs – which never lasts). I’m going to print this out and show it to my friends when they ask me why we get along so well… :wink:
Great topic, and a great list, too.
Happy TT!
Ciao!
This is great Shelley. I’ve got one more for you. “Don’t sweat the small stuff and pick your battles.”
For me, I walk a fine line since my hubby works out of town all week.
We always say “I love you” before we hang up the phone. Always. Even if we’re arguing. He’s a crane operator. His job is dangerous.
Shelley, it’s so easy to lose sight of the flowers for the forest. Tending and caring for that relationship with our significant other takes our time and energy. And it’s worth the effort. I’m learning that more with each passing day.
Great list. We try to view it as a Team effort… Team D. and Big Guy.
We’re in this together. Even if we don’t agree, we have eachother’s back.
See thats a great list, and something to save for when things get hairy.
Great TT!
Stella
Excellent advice!
Sounds like some great points.
There will always be disagreements. It’s life.
I did a TT on my favorite pirates at Six Degrees of Sexy. :mrgreen:
Unfortunately it takes two to make a relationship work. I’m glad you found a mate who is willing to work at it. Happy T13!
Sounds like good advice all the way around.
Great TT!
*hugs*
Paige
80 years? :eek: Seems like it for me. :lol:
That list should be printed and given to every newlywed! Terrific advice.
Gah! The Tour Manager needs to read this before I toss him and hire a new one!
Ms Menozzi – ditto. I read through the list of things and thought that hubby and I manage to do most of this.
Jen – great addition! Saying I love you is a wonderful way to end a phone call.
Nina – exactly. A good marriage takes work but it’s so worth it.
December – a team – that’s a great way of looking at a relationship.
Adelle – it definitely takes two, but as Amy said, there will be arguments/disagreements. It’s what makes us all human.
Susan – LOL. Sometimes I threaten my hubby with hiring a new one and then I think about all the time I’ve invested. Heck, the man cooks and I like to eat. That’s a huge consideration. :grin:
those are great!
I think i’ll be posting those on my fridge.
Great suggestions! I’m going to send this to some of my married friends. I need to practice number 1, but I’m pretty good at 2 and 3.
My husband and I don’t argue very often, but when we do we’ve noticed that we usually find ourselves holding hands once we’ve calmed down.
I have to agree, and at the core of it all is communication. You MUST talk to each other or one day, you’ll find you have nothing to talk about.
We can’t match the British couple, but forty-fve years is a respectable attempt, even if we spent too much of the first thirty-fve apart–going to sea is hard on marriage.
We don’t have lists either, just three children we consider friends and five, going on six, grandchildren who make themselves welcome in our home (we have a children’s room full of their special things and it is used frequently for overnight stays)
We are lovers and friends, both independent minded, but still tolerant of each other. I can not imagine life without my beloved–it would be as boring as Hell.
Amy
We’re coming up on 13 years of marriage in 6 weeks. Happy TT.
Good blog, Shelley!
My addition: If you make a negative comment, offset it with a positive.
That’s great advice!
Yikes……. I can feel some changes are in order, lol!
Twenty-one years for us in December…..
Amy – congratulations! Forty-five years is a wonderful achievement.
Sarah – Congratulations! Thirteen years is great.
Sandra – Excellent addition. Thanks!
Sara – Twenty-one years is awesome, too. BTW, I loved the photo of you, Amanda and Christina in Heart to Heart.
What a terrific, inspiring post, Shelley! Hope you have a great weekend!